Thoughts and Decisions
by ap-q-n
Summary: She finally said it. Caskett. One-shot. Very short.


**Author's Note:** _This one's a little quickie. Also - I'm not really sure, but let's just say that Kate didn't catch the guy for her mom's murder. That applies to this story, anyway. Drop a review if you like it. That being said..._

**Author's Note Numero Dos:** _OH MY GOD I AM TOTALLY FREAKING OUT ABOUT ALWAYS! AHHHH! I AM GOING TO DIE IN ANTICIPATION!_

**Spoilers:** "Always" US promo and Ausiello's spoiler about why Beckett is wet when she arrives at Castle's apartment.

**Disclaimer:** Nope. I own nothing. Although, if I owned Castle... *evil laugh evil laugh cough castle babies cough* I would've totally watched Always like a few weeks ago. sigh... too bad it's the real world...

* * *

"Hey, Mom."

Kate sighs. She looks down at her mother's gravestone, the name _Johanna Beckett_ carved neatly into the rock.

"I have to tell you something."

The sky rumbles, and yes, she knows it's not the best weather to be out here, since it will probably start raining soon. So she decides to make this quick.

"I can't do this anymore, Mom." Kate looks up, watching the slowly darkening gray clouds roll across the sky. "This case… it's too much now. I haven't caught the guy, no, I was close – but now… I can't do it. I hate being down there, in the rabbit hole, too caught up in this murder. And Castle hates it too."

The corner of her mouth lifts slightly, the thought of Castle slightly brightening up her mood. "Oh, Mom. You would love him. He's… he's such a dork," she says, a small chuckle escaping her lips. "But, he's really sweet."

Her smile fades, as her thoughts become more serious. "He told me he loved me." She sighs quietly. "Once, last year. And then – twice yesterday."

Kate looks down to the grass. "I was a coward. I've always been. I did the only thing I could do… I ran." She pauses and hastily wipes at her eyes, brushing away the tears she hadn't even known formed. "But… I think, I think I love him too. No, no, I do. I do love him. And, I'm sure you'll understand why I need to back down on this case, Mom. This sucked me in, too much. But now – now I have my life to live. I want to live my life, Mom. With Castle. And, that means… I have to stop.

"He begged me to stop. I couldn't. Even though there were tears in his eyes, I couldn't. I didn't stop." A lone tear trickled down her cheek. She didn't even bother to wipe it away. "Now I get it. Now I know that I should stop. I should live my life, because who knows when I won't have enough time to do the things I want?"

She sighs again, and her voice is barely audible. "I'm not blaming you, Mom. I just… You understand. I… I want to live my life with everyone I love. Not just you; everyone."

* * *

Kate slowly pads along the sidewalk, the sky turning ever so darker. She knows that she should get away from the outside – but she can't.

The detective doesn't even realize where she's going until she stops right in front of it: the swings. The swings where she and Castle talked about walls that day. She sits down on one of them, and gets lost in thought.

(About them.)

* * *

The rain begins as a small drizzle. She doesn't really care. She'll only get wet a little, right?

But then, it begins to pour. She's still deeply thinking – and finally realizes she is soaking about a minute into the rain.

Kate scrambles off the swing, and runs.

She's running somewhere. She doesn't know.

She pants, hands on her knees, out of breath. The detective – whoops, _former_ detective – looks up.

She's at Castle's apartment. She ran to Castle's place.

And, now, the only thing she can think of doing – is going to him.

* * *

The elevator ride would be too slow, so she decides to run up the stairs. Okay, so she already ran a mile or so from the swings, but the faster she gets to him the better. Sprinting up the stairs is a little harder when she's dripping water and being weighed down by it. She'll end up at the door either way.

Kate knocks. She has to do this. She can do this. She wants to do this.

The door opens, and the surprise evidently shows on Castle's face. His mouth opens to say something, but she's already reaching for him, already kissing him, stopping his words.

"I love you," she whispers against his mouth, finally able to say it back. She's relieved. She finally said it.

Kate Beckett finally said it, to Richard Castle.

* * *

_Hope you liked it._


End file.
